I recently watched a young boy playing in a park. It was a Friday,
and the sun was shining brightly down on him, when he paused from his
activity to look up and await his mother’s glance. He was contently on
his own, with his mother near, but he wanted eye contact from her, as if
to remind both of them of one another’s presence. He didn’t need her in
that moment, and she knew as much, but she looked toward him anyway,
gave him a warm smile, then peacefully back to his activity he went.
Our
children are fragile, small and gentle, while at the same time, the
opposite of all that, too. They are courageous without understanding why
they need to be, and they see a reflection of themselves that is
bigger, stronger and mightier than their small bodies stand. They need
our love, but they also believe in themselves so fully, that if their
might were tangible, it could still the ocean. If we all believed in
ourselves even half as recklessly as a child, well, what couldn’t we do?
But
this doesn’t discount the connection between a caregiver and a child.
As they discover and observe the world around them, children look to us
for validation. They watch closely as we communicate, walk, eat or tie
our shoes, and they are fascinated by what we can do. As you so much as
open a door, watch as your young child’s eyes follow your hand while you
fiddle the keys. How did she do that? How can I do that, too?
Not
only do they revere our interactions with the world, they look to us
with admiration and hope. They want to be near us and learn from us and
be a part of our world just as much as we want to be near them. But
unlike our everlasting compulsion to care for the child and keep the
child safe, the child merely wants from us to be guided and equal. They
want to be just like us, and they want us to see when they make strides
in that direction.
How can we nurture the appreciation and respect the child has for the adult? Is it not enough to show them the way?
Think
of someone you look up to — someone you respect, think highly of and
want to be around. What does it feel like to have reciprocation in that
relationship? When you see they feel equally for you, does it compel you
to strive more? What would happen if our children felt this way, too?
We
have the capability to prepare a child’s surroundings in a way that
motivates, inspires, and proves to him that he is able. When we return
his glance or give him room to observe our interactions with the
environment around us, he will begin to believe in his own power and
ability to participate in the world just like we do. A child deserves
that kind of empowerment, to feel included and that he can open the
door, too — to a world of possibilities that only the child in the
reflection could conquer.