24.6.21

Parenting Mindfully

 

By Paula Lillard Preschlack

Wish you had a calm moment to yourself, but stuck in a flurry of activity with young children to care for? Here’s the good news: our young children’s very nature is a gift in disguise. Granted, that disguise may be running around, shouting or tossing things while overstimulated, overtired, or imitating stressed adults. But young children, when at their true, best selves, can offer us the simplicity of mindfulness that we long for, if we know how to look for it and encourage it.

Prepare Your Home Environment

Uncover your children’s true nature by removing obstacles –tuck away your iphone, digital technology, beeping and squeaking toys, electronic screens, and background noise. Clear out the clutter and — as best you can — prepare a home environment that is clean and simple. Young children learn through their senses of touch, smell, sight, sound and taste, so they are much more sensitive than we are to stimulation. This means that they need the simplicity of the natural world in “real time.”

By clearing the space of distractions to make room for beautiful, simple things we love, we make room for our children’s thoughts, problem-solving ideas, reflection, intellectual exploration, creativity and language expression. Young children explore the world around them in a slower, deeper way than we do, becoming more contemplative and curious. This is a nature that we want to encourage because it leads to developing empathy, knowledge of oneself, creativity and innovation.

Model Mindful Movements

Slow yourself down to encourage your children’s natural pace. You’ll find that — with distractions removed — young children are quite interested in the basic activities of caring for your home. They enjoy washing real dishes, sweeping the kitchen floor with a child-sized broom and wiping the table clean, particularly if they see you doing these things slowly and they’re invited to join you. By slowing down your own physical motions, you can make the activity like a Zen meditation: take a deep breath and notice the sunlight on the kitchen table’s surface while you wipe it; notice the sound that water makes when being poured slowly from a small pitcher into your child’s tiny glass.

As you move more deliberately and calmly, your children will, too. This is because they are internally focused on developing their physical and cognitive abilities. And because simple household tasks meet their need for challenge perfectly, these activities draw young children into focused flow. They will gain better control over their movements, hand control, balance and coordination, understanding of sequences, and causes and effects. In addition, they will benefit greatly from this time of connecting with you. This is when and how children learn to tune in to themselves and to others.

Find Peace In The Moment

So, when you can’t step away from your children for your much-needed sitting meditation, embrace the motions of your day with them as little acts of mindfulness. Sit down on the floor and invite your three-year-old to help you fold some of the laundry; let your 18-month-old rinse the strawberries for lunch while you prepare the rest of the meal; give your two-year-old a tiny brush and soap to scrub the tile floor you’re cleaning. You’ll be calming and restoring yourself, and you’ll be giving your young children just what they need.